“You'll Never Walk Alone”

September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 February 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010

BREAKING POINT - stress at which a person breaks down or a situation becomes crucial
or the degree of tension or stress at which something breaks. I know most of you think this is the stress part of breaking point, but it isn't. just interpret this first. my definition of breaking point is a certain time or place when you've realized that what your human anatomy can take has passed its limits in other words, the situation has passed limits so badly that you just cant handle it anymore.

but the real question is, what is our breaking point ? ill start of with examples . lets start with john cena against randy orton, john cena's body was put through excruciating pain but he never gave up does that mean he has no breaking point ? no . he just has a lot of heart and something that meant a lot after all he was fighting for the wwe title, and that passion to reclaim that prize surpassed that of the excruciating pain he would endure throughout that match.

Now i know what your thinking, what does this have to do with all my other lovey dovey blogs. Well re-read the john cena anecdote if you dont understand it properly and highlight the main points , so he put himself in pain, he had alot of heart, he fought for something and he didn't care what he put himself through to get it .

so think, have you ever put yourself through so much pain ?, so past your limits that you were gonna crack or explode ? for something or someone who you'd give the world for ? and im sure you realised your breaking point , but did you realise that they do the things that are ment to crack you, but they never do and then they do something so small and you've all of a sudden reached YOUR breaking point ? and no matter how hard you push you've been so broken that you feel theres no point anymore.

but think of this, if you've experienced what no one else should experience, endured what no one else should endure then that means you've seen your limits and you've surpassed them and your still living arent you ? its really not a breaking point, its something you have or will generally overcome and believe it or not, we will have more of these throughout our lives and the question is will you overcome YOUR BREAKING POINT ?

you know , i think when its 1.51 am and you can't sleep surely something is bothering you, and it sucks when everyone else is sleeping and the only option you have left is blogging, but then again all the words flow and there's no need to be someone else, its just your words, your raw emotions, no editing, no judgments.

well i guess a lot of things are bothering my mind. but for some reason i think its stupid, I'm sure you know what I'm talking. when you have the littlest thing and it bothers the hell out of you, but is it really little if its got you staying up till 2am when your SC trials are the next day ?

do you ever have something or someone, who when they do the littlest things, it just stays with you longer than most things? for example if they don't show up to meet with you or they don't say hello or just don't talk when you log on msn ? its like well I'm not judging from you, but i don't know why, force of habit maybe ? but i instantly think, did i do something wrong ? what did i do , and then you try in your head to rewind to that moment, if there is one that is and try to see what went wrong.

maybe its just were too attached to that person , that when were not shown love or affection we instantly turn to the worst of ourselves instead of realizing hey , were always there for that person and if they don't want to show the common courtesy of hello's or simple how was your days , because we all know that one person can brighten up even the darkest of days, we all have that regardless of the life around us.

maybe sometimes we should just deal that we could show someone the whole world but to them were just another person and maybe that's all we'll ever be ?. but theres a saying that goes like this '' you don't truly realise what you have until its gone'', and thats true but sometimes we dont want to be realised through that. We want to be realised when were there, when we put that person second to none, when the things that worry the heck out of us always relate back to them, its something we all want, something we all need to be wanted or felt needed by that person but sometimes, they dont realise, and they cant read minds right ?

but still if they were truley a good friend , then most blogs like this wouldnt exist , but also remember , theres no such thing as the perfect friend , they all have some quantity you want in your life but not all the perfect ones, so remember no ones perfect and if your having troubles all you can do is talk and being the good friend as they '' ARE'', should understand and if they dont want to, well the choice of what you mean and where they should be in your life is clearly made , no one deserves to go through this ordeal... remember no big steps , babysteps ...

its overated, forget it - if its meant to be don't go around putting 100 percent into something you'll know you will get hurt from or get half of what you give , you know why ? because in the end you will get hurt and you'll do what everyone does, blame the people around them for the advice they gave or even just because they're your friends and you assume its what they are there for .

people sometimes can be real bullshit artists . raise your hopes and then just as your as happy as can be they rip your heart out, throw it on the ground like nothing matters and you know they never realise it , they do that and then they pretends like nothings happened as if they are allowed to do that to you, as if your the person who has no heart and no feelings ?

see i have a friend whom is currently going through the same situation i went and sort of am still going through, we liked someone and we'd give our world to them and all we ask for in return is just for them to be by ourside , but did we get that ? nooo ! wanna know what we got ? a ripped heart , sleepless nights , endless days , teary mornings, wondering why the hell do we get up in the morning ? , see this girl for me is Ms.Y and for her he's named after nike shoes , and those two Ms.Y and Nike Shoes are good friends and so are me and this girl .

the funny thing is i keep going back and so does she , after endless im sorry's from both ends which then lose meaning in time very quickly and continous promises never fulfilled, do we deserve this ? i mean we both have big hearts and were there for those people and put their smiles before anything else and we just want to be the cause of happiness , change the world around us if you like . i really hope my friend gets through this .

but if Mrs. Y your reading this , youve got to understand its gonna take more than sorry's for me to believe you anymore , because you need to reflect & realise on what i mean to you and you have to see that im not a robot i do have feelings and with each promise you break or each little thing you say and never do, they get hurt, put yourself in my shoes and understand from my view just how much i look after you, care for you and love you, and if you dont see anything than it shows what i mean and what i've doneee

signing offf !

sometimes we need things to happen for a reason to prove that we have some sort of realization in our life to make us feel that were something on this planet or just to make sure we have feelings.

do you ever find yourself thinking of things that have happened ages ago, but yet still have some sort of affect of you and don't know why ? wanna know the answer to it? or need another example ?. well since these blogs have a habit of my real life examples being used, lets continue that trend shall we ?.

well there was this girl in primary, and as in all of my blogs lets keep this one coded as well, we'll call her mystery girl. mystery girl was someone whom i was close friends with in primary, guess you could say we were the best of friends, inseparable and well the last day of school came and who knew that it would also be the last day of our friendship.

i haven't heard from her, seen her or even know if shes still on the face of the earth, anyway getting to my point, on the 21st of every month i have a dream, a dream about mystery girl if it was a one or two month id be like whoa coincidence but its been like this for almost 2 years, after 1000 different numbers rung, 4 different yellow pages read, 1000's of internet sites browsed and 100's of old friends seen and questioned, still no mystery girl. seems like a tough way around it ay? i still haven't given up and i believe that these dreams happen for a reason.

going back to why these things effect you after so long ? its because there meant to be in your life. these don't just happen out of pure coincidence, its because that one thing that's a constant bother in your life, that thing you cant and just wont let go of is meant to be there, you can choose to fight it all you want, but in the end its just a waste of time. If its about friends then renew those frienships, If its love go after it or even if its the smallest of dreams - go after it because there meant to happen, whether you can make them happen well thats a different blog entirely just remember.... everything happens for a reason.....

Friendships - An interpersonal relationship is a relatively long-term association between two or more people. This association may be based on many different emotions.

Is this really true ? . why doesnt it say forever instead of longterm ? friendships are something that are ment to last forever, from your little funny names such as hubba or bubba to i'll always be there forever and ever , through the thick and thin . what happens if there not there ? . the friend that promised to be by yourside is no longer there , infact what happens if there the reason your teary ? the reason these types of blogs exists, the depressing reminiscence type blogs that you need to get out of your system to keep you happy or atleast have that one feeling that can make you atleast put on a fake smile.

Well this isnt for people to read, but feel free. I had this friend who i put every fibre and being of me into our friendship. Wether it be my day ruined just for the one smile that brings me happiness, or that one tear in my eye knowing that shes hiding the pain of something from me. It was a 24/7 friendship for me and i thought it was for them too, how i was wrong i was terribly wrong and right now as i reminisce with ace with the song Hear Me Now - Boyce Avenue in the background i cant help but tear up and wonder how did we get here ?

How did it go from bankstown after school times and hanging in the morning at the train station with ace and her to not even talking ?, to not even stop and just text them just because you miss the mear feeling of being around them, the presence and aura they bring to our lives. im typing right now and i miss this friend so much and so does ace , he misses the times they had, those little stupid convos which ment alot to them of never leaving each other and always being there through the bad and the good to them not even managing a hello in public and im sure it hurts ace as much as it does me to say that were no longer what we used to be, me and ace are good friends but the three of us are no longer, something that was forever has changed into something of the past. is it because they have an other half ? is it because were not good enough ?

The questions are endless but the answers will remain unanswered because its a thing of the past something we wont know, but something we'll look back on and as the saying goes dont cry because its ended smile because its happened... but can i really do that ? i dont think i cann.. i miss that friend too muchh, if your reading this you meann the world to meee and i do misss youu and love youuu and so does ace ...

until next time signing off on the saddest note ...
SINGAAAAAA k /3

the school terms over . thank god . this could be a new start not schoolwise but lifewise. what a term its been . theres been a lot to reflect on . not all happy . infact the only happy thing is that its brought someone closer into my life . someone whom i now cant live without , and i know shes reading this and im forever grateful for helping me throughout this difficult stage in my life and i know someday ill repay the favour to that girl - i love you .

well lets see whats happened ? start off with the first shall we. finding out whos real and whos not, im sure there have been alot of these in your life. well mines a real impacting on in that its changed me around completely. Ms Y whom i considered a best friend well has certaintly left her mark on my life and now her mark will be left no more, shes made her decision and as it currently stands im not in her life , does it hurt ? sure it does , but it shows what happened ment little to her and that i was just a '' 5 minute'' person. but as one ends one blossoms and helps you get through something you never thought you could . was it worth it ? i dont know . but would i change the friend i have in my life now ? thats a certain no . ive lost connections with friends and well now were back in touch, especially with one girl known as menina sara . ive missed her in my life and i dont know but for some reason thats where i want her to stay - if you read this i just want you to know that .

theres been thousands of problems we could go on about everyone whos reading this . youve had your love issues ( god knows i have ), youve been kicked down dont wanna get back up , seen relationships end that were never ment to, felt things no one is ment to feel, youve seen people go through things you never thought they would even know the meaning or feeling of, to say the least its been one hell of a term .

but through all of the pain - be it with love, with friendships, with health, with family, with school, seeing your beloved rugby league team lose, and oh god to even being on crutchers the endings always positive, youve gotten new friends , healths gone better , family life will calm over, school you will cope . your rugby league team will have 2010 to win and your ankle will heal everything in the end will be all right...

theres a story a man was in a storm and 2 boats came to save him he said '' god will save me '' then a helicoptor came and he said the same thing and the man then drowned and he asked god why didnt you save me ? god said i sent you 2 boats and a helicoptor what more do yu want ?... and as ive said to people what im trying to say is god works in mysterious ways and in the end everything will be alright.

there will be pain, there will be tears shed god knows even blood , even death could rise upon us but whats inside us will overcome that. because time stops for no one, and in the end there comes regret of wasting time. just enjoy life and learn from mistakes because this is the time of your life you ment to enjoy. regardless of the pain youve got people who care and a long LONG life ahead . all of you should take care and enjoy your holidays.... godbless....

who knows ?a new beginining could arise next term.... a better one ?